Window to the Future
by kittykatloren
Summary: "I can't do this," she said. Reality was beginning to settle heavily on her shoulders. "I can't be a mother. I can't. I don't know how." Akito/Shigure oneshot, MANGA.


**A/N: **Sort of a slightly unrelated companion piece to my other Akiigure piece, _Mirror to the Past_. You don't need to read it first, though. This is Akito's past haunting her once more, but she's getting better at controlling it now. And luckily, Shigure is there too. Please review!

(To anyone who has requests waiting for _Miniatures_... I'll get them done, I promise!)

**Words:** 1056**  
>Characters:<strong> Akito, Shigure, Hatori**  
>Time: <strong>Post-manga**  
>Genre:<strong> Family/Angst

**Disclaimer:** Everything you recognize belongs to Takaya Natsuki, not me.

* * *

><p><em>Positive.<em>

Akito only stared, blank, uncomprehending. Somehow she staggered to her feet, stumbled to where Shigure was. He was reading a book, as carefree as ever.

"I need to see Hatori," she said, and her voice was loud, though a little shaky.

Shigure laid down his book at once. He straightened and frowned a little as he studied her with concern. "Are you all right? What's wrong?"

"I need to see Hatori," she repeated, more firmly.

"Akito, what's - "

"_Call him!_" she said, so fiercely it was almost a scream, and she saw Shigure's eyes widen. "Please," she added more calmly.

Finally Shigure headed toward the phone. As he passed by her, his fingers briefly closed around hers, quick as a blink. A moment later, she heard him in the other room. "Haa-san? It's me. I need you to come over here, right now. Yes. Akito… Akito asked for you, and she's… I don't know what, just bring everything. Just come, Hatori… Thanks."

The wait for Hatori was agonizing. Shigure didn't ask her again what was the matter, but nor did he pick up his book and read again; they sat in stiff silence. Akito could think of nothing. Her whole being was filled with only the racing of her heart - except during those moments when it froze completely, empty and terrifying.

Hatori didn't bother to knock. As soon as Akito saw him, she rushed to him. He grabbed her upper arm to hold her fast. "Calm down, Akito," he said in his coolest, gentlest voice. She saw his eyes flicker over her shoulder, no doubt to Shigure's face, but Akito did not understand whatever silent communication passed between the two men.

"I'm sorry," she said. Her eyes fell to his doctor's case. "I need to see…"

"Sit down," said Hatori, and she obeyed. He knelt too, with Shigure watching all the while, and opened up his case. At once Akito began to search through it, praying, dreading. She found what she was looking for all too soon. Hatori saw what her hands had stilled upon, and his eyes widened.

"What is it?" she heard Shigure say, as if from very far away.

Akito stared at Hatori, unable to speak. She couldn't say it, not until she knew, and something in her gaze must have made Hatori understand, for he took out the portable ultrasound device without waiting for her to ask. "Lie down," he said, and again she obeyed. Hatori's presence calmed her, as it always had, and she closed her eyes and took long, deep, deliberate breaths as she felt his hands roll up her blouse and rub cold gel across her skin.

"Is that… an ultrasound?" said Shigure. Akito couldn't answer him, not yet, but her carefully controlled heart fluttered at the sound of his voice.

She felt the pressure on her tummy in slow circular movements, almost like a massage, accompanied by a whirr of electronics. Shigure was saying something, too, but Akito blocked everything from her mind except the answer she knew Hatori would provide.

The pressure lifted. Hatori wiped away the gel, and Akito smoothed her shirt back into place as she sat up. For a moment, they stared at each other, Akito desperately trying to read Hatori's gaze. Then he smiled.

"Congratulations," he said. His eyes flashed up to Shigure, then back to hers. "You're pregnant, Akito."

_Positive._

Akito's gaze flew to Shigure. His eyes were even wider than Hatori's, and she had no idea what was in them or what was going through his mind. But before she had time to worry, his face split into a broad, radiant grin, and he pulled her to her feet and into his arms, practically crushing her against him. Something between a laugh and a sob escaped from Akito's tight throat. When Shigure finally let her go, he kissed her deeply, and Akito's hands found his and held them. Hatori coughed.

"I'll bring prenatal vitamins next time I come. Don't hesitate to call, anytime, for anything. And… congratulations again."

He had already packed up his bag, his gaze both warm and sad. She couldn't tell if he was looking more at her or Shigure, but she could tell that his words were heartfelt. With a nod and smile, he was gone.

"A baby," Shigure said in awe. He squeezed her hands before releasing them so he could feel her tummy. "Akito, we're… we're going to be a family."

_A family…_

"I can't do this," she said. Reality was beginning to settle heavily on her shoulders. "I can't be a mother. I can't. I don't know how."

She was shaking. It wasn't something she could control, no more than the images that began to flash through her mind were. She saw Ren screaming, her face deranged; she saw an empty box, long hair as dark as night, broken glass and blood.

"_I can't!_"

"Akito!"

Shigure caught her arms before she could trash them around, and kissed her lips before she could scream. Soon the trembling stopped. Sighing, smiling, Shigure kissed her forehead.

"Do you think I have any idea how to be a father?" he said. "Think about it. Me. A _father_."

Akito couldn't help but smile a little bit at that. His hands were warm as he ran them up and down her arms.

"You're not your mother, Akito. We'll be learning this together. Always. You'll be… the best mother this child could ever have."

The weight was lessening. She was still scared, but she had a light in the darkness now, and the path ahead was winding but clear. "Thank you," she murmured. She leaned into him, closed her eyes.

"So?" said Shigure excitedly. "When should we tell everyone? Do you think it'll be a boy or a girl? What should we name it? If it's a girl…"

"Perhaps… Tohru?"

"I have a feeling that every female Sohma in the next generation will be named Tohru," Shigure said fondly. Akito smiled again. "We'll think of something. We've got time."

Now Akito stretched on her tiptoes so she could kiss him. As long as she was near him, she would be all right; only he could hold the fear, the memories, at bay.

Everything would be all right as long as they were together.


End file.
